My thoughts on how the marital status would affect the children's growth

Today we have talked about how the martial status of the parents does will influence the children, we took gay/lesbian parents, single parents (basically the single moms). Intact family, and divorced family. The result surprised me a little bit when I know that the kids who were raised by homosexual families are almost the same, might be better (both physical and mental conditions) than the kids who were raised by the intact family (parents are heterosexual and they are not divorced). As for me, I was raised by a family that parents are divorced. My parents separated when I was 13 years old, and now both have a new family. At first, their divorce gave me a big strike, as a Chinese, people usually don’t get divorced especially if they have kids 20years ago. Plus, I was born and raised in a small town, people there are very conservative.  It was uncommon that time, so I was kind of in a low self-esteem when I was in the middle school and high school because the other fellows might look down upon me and refused to befriend with me because of my family condition, which affect me a lot throughout my entire teenage. The low self-esteem didn’t go away until I went to New York, United States, which I found people there don’t think divorce is an ashamed thing to be avoided of. They care the personal happiness, and the common values joint more than just getting married with someone to achieve one of the goals in their lives. They also think they can achieve and accomplish the goals even if they stay single. They don’t care what the secular world values them, or how do the other people look at them. This is the spirit that I also want to have in my life, not that means I won’t, or I don’t have a family in the future. Just because I want to have a happy, long lasting and satisfying relationship and marriage in the future, so I need to be cautious about that, as for me, finding a partner that who loves me and I also love him, we both share a lot of common values, and we both have a common goal to fight for is more important than anything. My ideal marriage status would be no matter what happens in the future, me and my spouse will stay together and help each other on both career and family, so that means I want a partner that could be my soul mate rather than just my husband. 

I hope that my future marriage could be lasting forever because I was raised by a separated family, and I know how hard it was for me when I was a young child, so I do not the same thing happen to my future kids either. I believe that the kids who are raised in the intact family would be so beneficial on both psychological and mental development. There would be a bigger change that they will have more healthy personalities, they would be more confident, and would be more successful in the future. If there is the case that I must raise my kids alone for some reasons, I will still try my best to let my kids to be the people who have healthy personalities. I realized that a healthy marriage would play a positive role to the children’s growth. Right now even thought I haven’t got married yet, but I will enrich myself on all perspectives, to be a better person and a leading examples to my future children.